Why Do I Like Retirement?

How many days in a week?

6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday.

 

When is a retiree’s bedtime?

3 hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Why don’t retirees mind being called seniors?

It comes with a 10% discount!

 

Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?

Tied shoes.

 

How many retirees to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take all day.

 

What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?

NUTS!

 

What do retirees call a long lunch?

Normal.

 

What is the best way to describe retirement?

The never-ending coffee break.

 

Why do retirees count pennies?

They’re the only ones who have the time!