Warnings and Other Miscellany

 

I was in the 6 item express at the store, quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"   (Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?)

cid:part1.05000800.06000108@cox.net

 

As we progress through 2014, I want to thank each one of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

 

When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Heaven, God appeared and said,"I want the men to make two lines: One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter."

 

To my kids who have left home and are on their own, I pass on a list of life lessons:

 

1. Don't sweat your every mistake or faux pas. They make up for the things you got away with that nobody knows about.

 

2. Avoid marrying anyone who deliberately flushes the toilet when you're taking a shower.

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